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Eric Byrnes May Derive All His Power From His Mustache

by November 30, 1999 @ 12:00 am (Category : Uncategorized )

Apr 21st 2008 9:14AM by Will Brinson
Eric Byrnes is hitting .362 on his current 14 game hit streak. He does not credit a great Diamondbacks’ lineup. He does not credit the hitter friendly Chase Field. He credits his mustache, which he’s been growing since the fourth game of the season.
The idea came from a mustache party Byrnes attended in the offseason, when he had 10 days to grow one from the time of a dinner at the White House to the party.
Byrnes figured since he could grow a “presentable” mustache in 10 days for the party, that would give him a goal to shoot for.
‘I knew if I could hit in 10 straight, just something to get me going at the beginning of the year, get a little visible mustache growing, that would be great,’ Byrnes said.

Alright. First of all, I want to know what “Monty” (it’s new, we’re trying it out) is doing at a “mustache party”. Who the hell has one of those, and why are we throwing it around like it’s some really casually occurring event in society? Do people grow mustaches just for parties that often and I don’t know about it/have never been involved in one? If that’s the case, I might as well call the dogs off now.
Apparently, teammates and coaches are hopping on the bandwagon as well, with Dan Haren promising to keep some fuzz on his face until he loses a game and Chris Burke made some half-hearted promise about rocking out a flavor savor if Byrnes extended his hit streak past 10 games (nice self-confidence in both your hitting and ’stash growing there, Mr. Burke).

Byrnes says he doesn’t plan on shaving until he stops raking though, and it took a late inning, last at-bat double to keep his streak alive on Saturday night. Maybe the best part about the whole process is that Byrnes seems to have zero intention of even trimming the ’stash; he said that if he gets near the magic 56 number he’ll be “looking like a walrus.” Here’s hoping the mustache ride never ends.
The face fuzz may be gone; I guess this explains why I’m never invited to mustache parties.

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